To the man who walked out on me Jayda and Maya 12 years ago I say thank you.
For the days Jayda sat by the mailbox waiting for you to come back believing in the promise that you were sending her gifts Crying in tears.
Maya just asked over and over again at the age of 3 1/2 where’s daddy?
I sat by myself crying many long nights thinking about death in many forms the pressure was too much I was not enough and everything around me was caving in.
Jayda and Maya both sick eight surgeries in less than 15 months both children…
And Jayda went mute…. she stopped talking for a whole year? Complete silence.
I sat alone by myself and cried.
No college degree, making ten dollars an hour … young and two babies — a — my second a c- section — cut open ….
I felt used up — I felt unwantable…
At first I blamed you for where we were but then I began to blame myself and the blame force me to hate myself because I chose you.
People laughed at me made fun of me the church frowned upon me and I was judged everywhere around…
Your family disappeared and thin were like we didn’t exist 10 minutes away down the street no phone calls no help…
We no long wait for your call — we don’t need it.
I feel like I could go on and on and talk about the many long days and the many long nights but be clear I’m writing this because today I wrap that shit up.
Jayda is walking across the stage in less than an hour a straight A student and motherfucker I absolutely did it — without you.
We did it without you.
I have now made money, acquired things, bought business, accomplished so much in the eye of the outsider — but yet — in this moment… honestly,
I have never felt so accomplished or proud as I do right now driving to her graduation — thinking about her on that stage.
She looked at me right before I dropped her off and said mama — we made it, and I was like yes daughter we did.
To every woman Who has had as many long nights alone wondering crying feeling on scene unheard unwanted undesired I want you to know…
That I see you…
To every woman who has had to walk the road with so much uncertainty and fear knowing that they were at the bottom of society…
I want you to know that I see you.
To every woman who has had to live with resentment anger and who has succumb to bitterness only to be judged by those around her who simply didn’t understand…
I want you to know — I see you — sis.
The everywoman who feels second in everything she does.
Today Jayda graduating — feels like a dream. Dreams do come true.
Today I have the last laugh and to my ex husband I say thank you so much for abandoning us I wouldn’t have been angry enough to build a life that We have today — one that I absolutely love.
I love my life.
To every woman — who Feels like her hard work has gone unnoticed unseen and not accounted for I stand with every woman in the space and I say fing love you.
To every woman who has had a man walk out on them and you still feel like you’re alone baby I just want to say you’re enough keep going keep pressing keep loving driving keep building keep doing the damn thing be relentless stop at nothing
and be CRYSTAL CLEAR the best REVENGE is success.
#watchus in this next chapter.
